I'm Not Gonna Lie, I'm Scared To Even Post This Pic

"Honey, I just had my eyebrows done."

"(mocking sarcasm) Great."

"Wanna see?"

"Sure (turns head). Wha, wha, wha, wha, what?! (collapses on the floor)"

"Milk was a bad choice."

TheSmokingGun.com:
"Meet Jose Luis Gomez. The Iowa man, 20, is locked up in the Polk County Jail on robbery and assault charges. Nothing special there. What sets Gomez apart from other accused felons in the Des Moines clink (and nationwide, for that matter) are the distinctive tattoos above his smoky brown eyes. Gomez, you see, likes to make a statement without saying a word."

Words of Wisdom from TBunts

You're The Next Contestant On...

Red Sox get their man! Alex Gonzalez, come on down. Shortstop and Fenway beckon.

From ESPN Research:

2005 Lowest BA After All-Star break among NL SS (min. 100 AB)

Cesar Izturis, LA .216
Clint Barmes, COL .216
Omar Quintanilla, COL .219
Alex Gonzalez, FLA .229*
*.282 BA before All-Star break in 2005

Thanks for the stats, Buster Olney...

What? It's always in season to crack on the Saux.

(insert 2003 World Series game winning homer against the Yanks line, here. THAT SERIES NEVER HAPPENED!!!!)

The Wind Beneath My...

5 foot nuthin'. 100 and nuthin'. But man can he get to the rim.

Nate Robinson to compete in the 2006 NBA Dunk Contest... (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2313651 - unfortunately I can't be all cool and hyper link)

Don't you dare call him Gary Coleman!!!

BREAKING - Kobe Feels Emotions

In a breaking story from our good friends over at ESPN, it would seem that Kobe Bryant is "Embarrassed" about people thinking that he is trying to top Wilt Chamberlin's record of 100 points in a game.

Yes, we have finally found something for which Kobe feels emotion.

Rape trial? Nah.

Running the best Center in the history of the league out of town? Nope.

I mean how could people misconstrue Kobe taking 40+ shots a game as him trying to score 100. You guys don't know Kobe the way his friends and family do.

Some choice quote from the Kobster.

"The concept is not about going out there and putting on a show or going out there and scoring points. It's to win games," he said. "Whatever it takes. You have to gauge the flow of the game and then decide when to pick your spot to take over."

Ok so you pick your spot? Lamar Odom are you listening to this?

I always like to end my post's on a fun note so here is Kobe's team philosophy.

"I'd much rather go out and score 25 points and get 10 assists and see everybody in a rhythm, everybody in a groove."

Now I'm embarrassed.

- BL

Dave Chappelle's Block Party

I kind of, sort of want this to be available on DVD so I can watch again and again. For some reason this trailer really got me going. Feel that tingle in your gonads?

Dave Chappelle's Block Party

Trailer

Like A Bat Outta Hell

"People are buzzing about Lawrence Taylor's bizarre behavior at Prime 112 last week. He reached for a bottle from the wrong table, approached Michael Jordan's table and loudly yelled, ''Ladies and gentleman, Michael Jordan!'' An embarrassed Jordan put his head in his hands. Charles Oakley tried to settle down L.T."

After his encounter with Oakley, LT was seen cutting Oak's Escalade in half with a chain saw.

Deadspin Sez...

Next Stop Pottersville

King meet Brooke Burke, Brooke Burke meet King.

Let's just say... It's good to be the King

Recipe for Career Suicide

The following makes for a lavish portion of Career Suicide; This recipe has Italian origins, but can be applied to all types.

Combine all ingredients into mixing bowl

2 Bad Knees
1 NL Rookie of the Year Award
1 NL Team
A lock of Sam Champions Hair
1 Half of a Louisville Slugger
1 Giant Ego
1 Noodle Arm
A Wispy Mustache (Think John Waters)

Now after mixing up all the ingredients, just pour into the worst hitting park in the majors, and let cool.

Serves about 5-10 Homeruns and 30-50 RBIs.

- BL