I have always enjoyed the careers of Olympic athletes in the same way that I enjoyed the lives of goldfish won at the county fair. There is a guaranteed ten days of infatuation and cooing until we realize that fish and athletes are both easily replaceable. Usually by the time the fish is in its sewer mausoleum and the gold medalist are doing there last rounds on the Jimmy Kimmel Show I am ready to move on.
Who needs to remember that guy with the big teeth who swims, or the underdeveloped white female gymnast, or the underdeveloped black female gymnast, or even the underdeveloped latin gymnast?
Sadly thanks to ABC and the good people at Dancing with the Stars, the only true athletic reality show (YOU HEAR ME PROs Vs. JOEs), we are being asked to remember one of these former 4 yr stars. The announcement of Apollo Anton Ohno and the rest of the cast has caused a wave of sentimentality over me.
Remember Ohno, he's got that sick Sam Jackson in Jackie Brown facial hair going, which has always been in fashion. He owns gold medals in Short Track, basically speed skating designed by the guys from Jackass or Korean Football, whichever fits the situation. Now he's trying for the Dancing with the Stars title; color me excited. My question is what will it take for us to get some of the other Olympic names from the past? Did Keri Strug just fire her representation? What's keeping these hero's from the spotlight?
Should we handle them like the Real World does? Make 12 gold medalists compete in various challenges sponsored by Chilli's, while drinking, hooking up, and making great TV. Who needs the Miz when you got Bode Miller trying to push Amy Van Dyken into the deep end of the swimming pool.
(Now many of you might ask why I didn't discuss Clyde Drexler's name being on the list, and the main reason is, um, well Clyde is boring. I mean Matt Geiger, Larry Johnson, Shawn Kemp these are the STARS, Clyde is the guy you used to pass the ball to da Dream in old school NBA Jam)
Set the Tivo's for March 19th, its the dawn of a new era, forget the Gold, Silver, and Bronze, the real money and fame are in the rhinestones, tango, and waxing.