Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Monday, July 31, 2006

They Just Cant Get Enough

How many apathetic hispanic players can the Yankee's trade for? Is Rey Ordonez still available? Someone shake Raul Mondesi out of mothball, the Yanks got a roster spot for ya.

- BL

Thursday, July 20, 2006

ESP In Your Face

Keep your reciepts for those ESPN Mobile Phones, the boys at Merill Lynch aren't impressed.

According to this article ESPN could be looking at losses of over $135 Million with barely 30,000 people(Hey that's the same amount of people who watch Around the Horn) signed up for the service.

Basically if ESPN were a puppy, ESPN Mobile would be its testicles, around for now but everyone except them realizes its only a matter of time before they're floating in formaldehyde.

- BL

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


This just in, Chad Pennington's labrum still intact.

Stay Tuned...

- BL

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Arubian Knight

Arubian Knight
Like Arubian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways

Arubian Knights
'Neath Arubian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on Sidney Ponsoooooooon


The 24 Year Old Virgin

Having attended an "actual" Sports University, (If you haven't seen pictures of Rex Grossman's party face circa 2000, you aren't a real Gator) I am well versed in the benefits of being a star college athlete.

There are the many tutors who always seem to know exactly what is the "important information" needed for exams, there are the choice dorms with names like "lakeside" built specifically for stars, and then there's the white/black/red/drunk women.

You haven't lived until you've seen five Tri-Delts throwing themselves on Udonis Haslem. Matt Walsh (Where are you now?) dated a freaking playmate. SEC might as well be SEX.

Or so I thought.

On Monday's Howard Stern Show, in an interview conducted at the ESPY's Shaun Alexander revealed that he was a virgin until his marriage at the age of 24.

According to the show's rundown for Monday,

In the final clip, the NFL MVP, Shaun Alexander, told Gary he wouldn’t have a problem with a gay athlete in the locker room with him, even though he didn’t think “it was right.” Shaun went on to say he was a virgin until he got married at the age of 24.

Let's digest that for a second. So we're talking about a guy who had to be the biggest star in any room he stepped into from age 17 to the present day, and he never cashed that check?

He's like A.C. Green, but without the piety.

Alexander did go to Alabama, so I guess that can explain some of his motives, but jees it couldn't have been an easy milestone. This achievement, if we can call it that, has really put me on the defensive now. What else is out there? Has Randy Moss never gone #1 standing up? Could Tom Brady have never tasted Dr. Pepper before? Everything is now operative people.

The point is, it's a responsibility of all professional athletes to lead better lives than the rest of us. If Shaun isn't going to bang groupies on the road then he better just take his MVP Trophy and go home.

This just in,

Kobe Bryant has never experienced the back door; CORRECTION never experienced willingly.

UPDATE: We got a pic of what he waited 24 yrs for.....I still say he's waz robbed.

- BL

Monday, July 17, 2006

I'm Corbin Mother-F'N Bernsen!!!

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow........

Are we a blog?

No blogs update regularly.

Are we a magazine?

No, but Celebs are just like us all.

Are we relevant?


Are we Dunzo?


And we return with Taylor Bunts news concerning our own Major League star Corbin Bernsen (the great Roger Dorn). If you don't know who Corbin is, let's just get a little perspective.

As one of the star of LA Law, Bernsen was one of the bigger TV Stars of the 80's along, but with his tragic hair line and scary tan, his rising star soon lost its luster. The past ten years Corbin inhabited the land of late night Cinemax while routinely beating women on Lifetime.

Well he has now gone full circle returning to General Hospital ,the show kicked off his career. How far has he fallen you say? Well when the movie Call Me: The Life and Fall of Heidi Fleiss is on your resume only Scat films are left, so we say Hu-Rah to our boy Corbin.

Tom Berenger is still a star for middle-aged women, Dennis Haysbert is the President and your Allstate broker, and Rene Russo showed here tatas often so good that the Velvet hand has thrown Corbin a bone.

Now when are those asian groundskeepers gonna get a break???

- BL