Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

2005 ESPN Mock Draft

Ben: The Rules are simple people; Jon and I will makeover ESPN in our own image, choosing which talent we see fit. The programs we will be filling are;

The 6pm and 11pm Sportscenter
Baseball Tonight
College Gameday
Outside the Line (OTL)
Wild Card

Now to decide who will get the first pick in the 2005 Taylor Bunts ESPN Draft, Jon is holding up a 1 or a 2, is that correct Jon?
Jon: Correct
Ben: Ok well is it a 2?
Jon: Sorry its a 1. And with the first pick in the espn anchor: Team Stuart Scott selects Peter Gammons.
Ben: Damn you Jon, well now I get the 2 and 3, and I will take Chris Berman and Linda Cohn as the faces of Team Boom Goes the Dynamite.
Jon: well, with the fourth pick i'm gonna lock up one of my late anchors and take this serious up and comer. Not only will he bless my Sportscenter desk, but he'll be able to get Andy North to come in at any time of the day. Ladies and Gents, Scott Van Pelt
Ben: I would call that pick shocking if he wasnt so high on my board. So to answer back I am going to take Mike Tirico 5th to hold down the College Game Day set.
Jon: #6 is more of a defensive pick, in that I don't want you to lock up the Prime Time Gang - I will take TJ and bring his "Jacked Up" with him
Ben: Well this might be a bit of a reach but I am taking Suzy Kolber to complement Boomer on NFL Primetime.
Jon: Suzy I could kiss ya, with the #8 pick, I'm gonna get on the Gameday Board and take, Reece Davis.
Ben: Feh on Reece, You know the 11pm Sportscenter is a different animal from the 6pm, so I gotta grab anchor/comedian Kenny Mayne to rock me to sleep.
Jon: the famed #10 pick - many ways to go here, BUT i will go a little off the handle and nab Steve Berthiume to join up with Van Pelt at the 11 spot.
Ben: Well my Baseball Tonight team is still empty, so I gotta take my boy Karl Ravech 12th to anchor the best show on TV.
Jon: #13, call it lucky or unlucky, but I'll take the old veteran - the Marshall Faulk of this draft - Dan Patrick, to hold down my 6p Sportscenter.
Ben: Well you stole him right out from under me, so I gotta grab Steve Levy to work with Kenny on the 11 shift.
Jon: To join TJ, we thought long and hard about this, but there was only one man, who's dynamic flare of color coordination can offset TJ's mono-chromatic beige shirt and beige tie - that man is the Playmaker himself, Michael Irvin.
Ben: Well most pundits said that after Gammons was off the board that HR was a lock for me, but I am here to prove the experts wrong. To round out my BBTonight team I select Buster Olney (the new Gammons).
Jon: I don't always love the opinions of my next stud, but DAMMIT, i respect him. If not for his pen or the ridiculous hats/helmets/mascot heads he dons, it's mos definately for his whistle. Lee Corso - come on down and join Reece in the booth
Ben: See I was worried about your previous pick, because we both need College help, but you missed the mark. I select Beano Cook and his double chin to sit next to Mike Tirico.
Jon: Well, it's quite easy, this next pick. Especially since you made the decision for me. Now, I will NEVER EVER (eva, eva) say that he was not my first choice as I've wanted him from the get go. Who else is gonna turn the double play for my team? Harold Reynolds will.
Ben: I am a bit shocked that I let my 6pm SC pick lapse so far, but to make up for it I will take Trey Wingo. Wingo come on down.
Jon: Trey Bien. Well, might as well take him now cause why not, right? Am I right? Mike Greenburg will join Dan Patrick in the 6 spot, if not for anything else, he sure knows how to grill some people on the Budweiser Hot Seat
Ben: OTL is the flagship of serious discussion on my newtwork, and who better to lead those talks then the great Michele Tafoya.
Jon: Ben, I must say - your crew is very reflective of the beautiful world we are trying to create where men and women, alike, can look to each other as peers. I myself prefer the nepotistic attitudes and therefore my OTL anchor will be none other than, Jee-remee Schaaaap E-ES-P-EN.
Ben: And with my last pick I fill the wildcard spot with the Ultimate Wildman, Tony Kornheiser, and I feel emense satisfaction.
Jon: Well, since this is wild. And I'm one HUGE WILD guy. I'm gonna go back to my roots (Michigan Roots, that is) and select a man who not only once was the proud papa at the network, but now lends his voice to Madden 2006. Let me introduce you to my pal, Rich Eisen.
Ben: Wow did you pull a muscle reaching to the NFL Network for that last one. Well there you have it the 2005 ESPN Mock draft, stay tuned for a recap of all the fun later in the day.

- BL & JG


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