Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Tom Brady's True Thoughts; Revealed


"Ok keys, check. Wallet, check. Cellphone, check. Pocketsquare, check. Are we ready for this thing people? Think these guys can smell the hookers from here? It aint easy being me, we ready yet?

A friggin coin flip, what a joke. I got more star power in my thumb. Ok look for the cameras, look for them, now smile. Does Matt Hasslebeck know how bad he looks? Guy needs a friend of dorothy stylist. Ok baby, who's the man?'

Sometimes I wish I could fade away like Drew did, is that Jessica Alba? Ok this side is heads, this side is tails, good to go. These guys look more like the cast of Oz more than GQ, someone's gettin more endorsement money, HOLLA! It's all about those 5 layers of Visa protection. Is there a cheerleader I couldn't bang if I wanted to?

Ok here comes my big moment, flip it like I did Bridget. Flashes, smile, smile, and wave. Wonder if I have enough time to go bang some models on a pile of flaming cash? Who loves you people, and who do you love?"

- BL

22 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awful

2:12 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not funny, how long did that take you come up with?

2:12 PM

 
Blogger Jon and Ben said...

We just would like to remind all of our readers how much we value their comments. Seriously, we read them all, no really we do, even when it's one word like say "Awful"
THANKS GUYS AND GALS.

2:18 PM

 
Anonymous billy said...

Hahaha. It's funny cause it's (probably) true

2:43 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dead on I love it

3:30 PM

 
Anonymous BoSox Siobhan said...

First, we get Bill Belichick on the pre-game show and then Tom Brady for the coin flip. Could ABC have made it more obvious that they would have preferred the Pats to be playing in the game?

3:47 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that a velvet suit?

3:50 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DEADSPIN.COM

3:59 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

should probably take that one down and go back to the drawing board.

3:59 PM

 
Blogger Eric said...

It's a bit like FOX and the playoffs - if a New England sports team isn't involved, they're losing audience.

4:37 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I Hate He

4:59 PM

 
Blogger Big Al said...

Does Brady realize he has a james van der beek, frankenstein like forehead? and whats with the velvet?

5:47 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he can bang me on a pile of cash anyday

5:50 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not funny.....

9:25 PM

 
Anonymous MyWifeWantsBrady said...

You made this Patriots fan laugh out loud.

Nice.

9:51 PM

 
Blogger David said...

That isn't the same velvet suit occasionally worn by Brad Dourif in "Deadwood," is it?

12:51 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, sounds like JEALOUSY threw up in your head when you thought of writing this up....you gotta love people who can bash others on paper because they are too scared to do anything else with their lives....

9:31 AM

 
Anonymous Joe said...

Man that was a great comment.

"Wow, sounds like JEALOUSY threw up in your head..."

That is some funny stuff. I think ENVY just pooped in my pants.

Naw I'm just jealous.

1:49 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a huge Patriots fan, and a loyal Tom Brady lover as well. But holy God, that was funny. I'm so sick of people getting so offended by things like this. We barely know the guy so there's no point in getting defensive for him. This was really a hilarious little blurb. I love Brady to pieces, but damn Jon and Ben are effing funny. Lighten up people.

4:04 PM

 
Anonymous Not a Pats Fan said...

Pointless and stupid. I was hoping it would be kinda funny. Came up snake eyes on that roll. Lighten up? How about being just mildly amusing...too much to ask for?

11:38 AM

 
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5:43 AM

 

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