My Super Bowl XL With Eric Dickerson
How much would you pay to have a perfect stranger over to watch the Super Bowl? Now what if I said that the stranger would become your defacto slave, incharge of refilling the food and beer. Not convinced? Well what if I told you the stranger was Hall of Fame Running Back and butcher of the English Language Eric Dickerson?
That's right, Mr. Personality Eric Dickerson could become your slave for this sunday, all you have to do is secure the top bid. The highest bid right now on Ebay for Eric's services is $4,450. Mark Gastineau is available as well for a snickers bar and a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade.
According to the auction, Miller Lite and ED have teamed up in order to give some lucky fan (all money does go to charity) a chance to have Eric become your personal slave. I can only imagine a group of fratty white guys forcing ED to clean up their game of Beirut, or making him run out for a box of Malomars.
Are there any limitations to this auction? What won't ED do? Can I dress him up? What about making him call me a cool name like chief or bossman? Can I force him to not talk?
Now before everyone races over to place a bid there are some restrictions to the auction.
"To qualify the winning bidder must live within the continental United States and be located within two hours of an airport so we can make sure Dickerson gets there before kickoff."
Take that Idaho and rural Montana, looks like ED won't service your country asses. Might as well wait for the Mark Chmura babysits your teenagers auction.
So enjoy the Super Bowl this sunday, but take solace in the fact that somewhere in the continental United States Eric Dickerson is somebody's bitch.