Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Lingerie Vs. XL, Which One is Really Super?




Now look, far be it for me to compare an amazing display of athletic prowess between two teams who deserve to be there with the Steelers vs. the Seahawks, but I am going to try. No offense to the fair cities of Pittsburgh and Seattle, but the rest of the country really isn't all that excited for this game. This might be the first year that the Lingerie Bowl could have more buzz around it then the actual game. A quick comparison reveals just how close these two American institutions have become.

Super Bowl Vs. Lingerie Bowl

Team Names - Steelers, Seahawks / Team Names - Euphoria, Desire

What is better, looking at the Seahawk mascot or the mascot for Desire? Advantage Lingerie.

Play by Play - Al Michaels / Play by Play - Mike Goldberg

One of these guys is a Hall of Fame announcer and the other calls the action for the UFC. Can Goldberg translate sweaty men rolling around together to sweaty women rolling around together? Advantage Super.

Commish - Paul Tagliabue / Commish -"The Fridge" William Perry

One of these guys has a Super Bowl ring, a rushing touchdown, and a verse in the Super Bowl Shuffle. The other has a MBA, makes around five million a year, and has all of his teeth. Advantage Super.

Color Commentator - John Madden / Color Commentator - Jenny McCarthy

There will be no Turducken at the Super Bowl which is a detrement to John Madden, and Jenny in a recent Howard Stern interview was revealed to have had long term "relations" with Jenna Jameson. Advantage Lingerie.

Marquee Stars - Jerome Bettis, Matt Hasslebeck / Marquee Stars - Cindy Margolis

So Jerome Bettis is from Detroit, and Matt's sister-in-law is the reasonably hot chick on the view. Cindy Margolis is the most downloaded women on the internet. A made up superlative that convoluted just doesn't grow on trees people. Then again Margolis probably won't be doing any Chunky Soup commercials no matter the outcome, so Advantage Super.

Well that's it, that's the list, I hope all of you enjoy the game whichever one you choose to watch. I myself don't want to influence picks or choices, but I got the game 24-20 Steelers/Euphoria.

- BL

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