Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Have To's

Major League Baseball’s regular season is coming to a thrilling climax in both leagues, and that naturally begs the question, which kid-in-professional-baseball-fish-out-of-water-movie is better: Little Big League or Rookie of the Year? We shall examine this fundamental question using several categories starting with…

Ok, a kid in eight grade will never be the coach of a professional baseball team (LBL), nor will he pitch for said baseball team (ROY). Nevertheless, one scenario is more realistic than the other, and that is the journey of young “Billy Heywood” in LBL. The reason for this is, most people have grandfathers. And most people’s grandfathers die at some point. Some of these grandfathers, typically in Republican families, happen to be rich. In fact, some own baseball teams. And when a grandfather loves a grandson, he leaves his grandson cool shit. A baseball team falls under the category of cool shit. So, really, it’s not that implausible for a kid to become owner of a team. And if he really knows his baseball, sure, why not, manage the team. In short, the plot isn’t too unbelievable.

On the other hand, ROY’s premise is just idiotic. Sure, “Henry Rowengartner” has no coordination. And kids who have no coordination often fall and break their arms. But broken arms do not heal in such a manner as to give you the ability throw a 100-mile-per-hour fastball. Ask any doctor. It’s science. In the real world, “Henry” would never get the skills to make a major league ball club.
First inning edge: Little Big League

Comedic Relief
The comedic relief, if you can call it that, in ROY is supplied by Daniel Stern. He plays “Phil Brickma,” “Henry’s” pitching coach. The team’s manager, however, maintains that he beaned “Brickma” in the head in the minor leagues and he has followed him ever since. The extent of the humor Stern provides is choking on sunflower seeds and getting stuck in between the two doors that adjoin two rooms at a hotel. Sub par comedic relief at best.
On the other hand, Jonathan Silverman’s turn as “Jim Bowers” is just a breath of fresh air. First off, he was in Weekend at Bernie’s and had his own sitcom, which I watched. Awesome. And his portrayal of this talented, but fun loving pitcher is a joy to watch. He even knows algebra, which is quite helpful to “Billy,” and he offers up the great riddle, “If a cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three nights, and leaves on Friday, how does he do it?” That brainteaser was worth the price of admission alone.
Second inning edge: Little Big League

Where Are They Now?
The youngster leading men in LBL and ROY respectively are Thomas Ian Nicholas and Luke Edwards. Each role marked each actor’s first go around at being the lead actor in a film. The question then is, which actor used their big shot to catapult himself to stardom? The answer: neither. Thomas Ian Nicholas is now best known for his role as “Kevin” in the American Pie trilogy. Not exactly an amazing turn of events for his career, but nothing to sneeze at. Meanwhile, Luke Edwards’ biggest movie post-LBL was the HBO movie Cheaters starring Jeff Daniels. Ironically, according to, he also appeared in American Pie 2 as “High School Guy.” So, when your biggest studio film role is a nobody in your competition’s movie, I’m afraid that’s embarrassing and you lose.
Third inning edge: Rookie of the Year

More LBL and ROY to come...

Backwords K
Backwords K is a contributor to the wonderful world of Taylor Bunts


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