Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Gilligan Meets the Red Sox Coming Soon

So last night i had the honor of watching the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's make over the 2004 WORLD CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX, and boy was it a show.

Where to start with this amazing television production. Well the first important thing in the show was the over the top product placement of Dunkin Dougnuts which included a visit to a local branch in western florida by the Fab 5. Nothing goes together like Gays and Doughnuts huh? Then to bring it over the top they forced little leaguers to eat them before playing a game, ah yes mom bring me a boston creme I have a big game tonight.

Lets see they made over Millar, Wakefield, Mirabelli, and Johnny Damon, but the King of the Mountain was still the captain of the ship Jason Varitek. Varitek landed on the outfield of the spring training field in a helicopter ala Trump, and soon took over the show with a back waxing fit for a King.

The Show took an almost Hamlet-esque turn with a makeover inside of a makeover as the Fab 5 made over a little league field destroyed by one of the Hurricanes with redneck names, coulda been Floyd or Clarence, I was too tired to remember. The Kids were like product cattle going from their doughnuts to BJ Wholesale Club cooking hot dogs. I was waiting for a Rawlings truck full of new jock staps to raise the level of unease on the field.

But to be honest the most fun I had with the show was thinkin what coulda been.....What if the Yanks close out Game 4 and they are getting the makeover.

Carson: So Jason what do you think of your new look?

Giambi: I can confirm that I have seen my new look, but I cannot discuss my feelings whether or not I do like it. I have seen it, but thats it.

Carson: Peachy!

or maybe....

Thom: So Derek thanks for laying all this new tile while we were at lunch.

Jeter: Its all about giving your all.

Thom: And it goes great with the trim.

Jeter: Mariah Carey's here?

or even

Jai: Randy why dont we start by learning some basic dance moves that will lead to our rumba.

Johnson: Get that camera out of my face. Out of my face!

Yeah it would be an easy makeover for the guys with the Yanks. I mean A-Rod is the most polished celebrity since Liberace. I can see Carl Pavano with some highlights and them pinning back Jorge's ears. Ah what could have been....

- BL


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