Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Monday, August 08, 2005

I'm Back, Back from Cali

979.9 miles and that was just in the car. “And then I hear Babyface.”

The playlist (rental car didn’t have a cassette deck, therefore no IPod adapter): Mariah Carey (one song, one remix), Black Eyed Peas (two songs), Green Day (three songs), Kelly Clarkson (one song), 50 Cent (one song, one remix), Missy Eliot (one song), Rock Steady. There were a couple of other songs we heard, but I don’t know the names, I can, however, sing each and every chorus as well as choreograph the video dancing. And what is really behind Kelly’s Hazel Eyes?

Coppola winery stood head and shoulders above the Mondavi winery. Excellent deli in the vicinity, Genova Deli! Way to go guys.

The three headed Celeb sighting: LeAnn Rimes and her male entourage at Fred Segal. Julia Ormond at a boutique in Santa Monica. Ormond, btw, wears a thong. And lastly, but bestly Kali Rocha. You got it, the same Kali Rocha who played the aggravating stewardess in Meet The Parents “What if I was a Bombardier?”

The Polar Bears were, hands down, the best attraction at the San Diego Zoo. One bear was an absolute ham and was playing up to the crowds, swimming and playing with his toys. The other was lounging in the shade. But they were MUCH more exciting than the lazy ass Pandas. “Hey come see our Pandas, they sleep 12 hours a day.” Here’s to the unnamed newborn Panda which has yet to be identified as male or female. AND, it will be named 100 days after its birth by China. Because that’s how they roll.

Went to a comedy show at the Improv. Dane Cook (A+), Elon Gold (B+), Sarah Silverman (A+) and, drum roll, Bob Saget? Wha-wha-wha-what?!?! Yes, the man is dirty and raunchy and makes fun of himself for the entire bit. Kind of weird watching him, though. Although his Kimmy Gibbler lines were superb (B+).

Thought about playing a round at Pebble, but the bank turned down my loan and I couldn’t afford the $540. But that $540 does include a cart, so I guess it makes sense.

Let’s just say, what ever happens in Laguna, stays in Laguna. Except for the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and their Carmel and Almond covered Granny Smith’s.

Here’s to the things that I left out, but not because I don’t like them: Fisherman’s Wharf, Port of San Fran, Scoma, Sausalito, Golden Gate Bridge (which may or may not have been there, I guess we’ll never know), 17 Mile Drive, Reg Bev Wil, Spanish Bay, Betelnut, La Jolla, Silverado, The Ivy, Stanford Court, Sunset blvd, Tory Farms in Dinuba, Carmel Inn, The Concierge at the Reg Bev Will and conversely thumbs down to Brian at the RBI, Lori’s, Melrose, Hawthorne Lane, RBI, Coffee Bean, Ghiradelli Square, In N Out, Highway 1 and 101 and 15 and 29 and 163 and 52 and 38 and 121 (but not 5, hate the 5) and who could forget the Gray Malibu Maxx, without it, we would have never made it up Powell and California.

To my new buddy Doc Rivers with whom we shared a hotel in LA. You heard me right, Doc and I are boys. I broke the ice with him, because someone had to. He walks towards us, I say, "Hi, Doc." He nods and then a couple of moments later he joins us in the elevator. We chat about our smoking room as opposed to a non smoking room and then we get out. Nice guy. So the next day I see him again and I pleasantly nod and he responds
What a truly stand up guy! We’re like this (my fingers are crossed).

So whilst away – I missed the trade deadline, which brought so much excitement to the Lawton family, AGAIN. Is there a count for how many times one guy gets traded at the deadline? ‘Cause for serious, Lawton has to be threatening Kenny Lofton’s record.

I also missed the 17 team, 38 player basketball trade. Which I still really don’t know what happened and who is where and what not. But I do know that I heard about it too late to ask Doc about it.

The Yanks are pedaling in mediocrity – once again. So I go away for 10 days and I come back to a staff of Smalls, Chacon, Leiter, Moose and… and… who, exactly?

Marbury is switching to the 2. Or does that mean he is just shit? Sometimes while watching sports, I get all philosophical and wonder how history will look back on a player. While watching Jordan, you knew he was the greatest. But what will history say about Starbury. Like in 20 years when Lebron finishes his final season with his 7th ring for the Knicks, and my son asks about Knick history, what will I say about Starbury? He had a greatly celebrated homecoming and then managed to do nothing while putting up great fantasy numbers. But I would end the story with, “but let me tell you this, he could sure get to the basket.”

Jets and Giants brawled. EXCELLENT! Why aren’t football fights televised from beginning to end?




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