Forget the curve ball. Give 'em the heater!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Spaceballs as Proverb

When I was a young boy the movie Spaceballs was my comedy bible. I memorized the lines, falls, bleeps, sweeps, and the creeps. While some kids were hoping for a GI Joe, I was begging for a Barf action figure. What I didn't realize is just how ahead of its time Spaceballs was.

Take one of my favorite lines; "Up next the movie review for Rocky five......Thousand." A great point made at a time when the Rocky franchise was clearly declaring creative bankruptcy. I mean has anyone watched Rocky V recently? Tommy Gunn and Rocky Balboa acting in the same scene was declared cruel and unusual punishment. The subplot of Rocky's son (wow he got an earing, this kid is a rebel) was unbearable, as was the thinly written Don King-esque boxing promoter. It was a film that actually made you long for the heart felt dialogue of Rocky IV; "I will break you".

Not to mention the whole, Rocky is a punchy fighter plot, that resulted in too many unwatchable screeches from Adrian. The movie was the final bell in the world of Rocky, right? Well apparently no.

According to various Hollywood sources, Stallone has submitted his script for Rocky VI (Sly will also direct this 6th installment), and is now waiting for the official greenlight from the movie studios. The plot follows Rocky as he is taking small fights in order to make ends meet, only to wind up fighting the world champion named Mason "The Line" Dixon.

Go reread that name again. It reads like a name the guys at the Onion would think up. Other rejected names were Tropic "Cancer" Of, Mississippi "River" Delta, Michael "J." Fox, Tom "Is Gay?" Cruise, and Another "Stereotypical" Black Guy.

Spaceballs once again proves that it was way ahead of their time; one has to hope though that we won't be forced to buy cans of Peri-Air or carry someones industrial strength hair-dryer. Stay tuned for a review of Rocky 6......Thousand.

- BL


Anonymous some guy said...

The name is fine.
If you're a baseball fan, you must know of Cleveland outfielder Coco Crisp. Or Dodger Milton Bradley. Flamboyant names exist.
I liked Rocky V. It was flawed, but they tried. Better than the Cold-war-revival-era prequel.
But putting Rocky back in the ring at the age of 60 will not work.
Over the Top 2 would make more sense.

2:05 PM


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