AARP in the Bronx

Have the Yankees and the Boss been spending so much time in Tampa that they have started to resemble the mahjong tile fans that watch them at Legends Field? The Yankees are old, slow, and injury prone. And not getting any younger. The off-season “purchase” of Randy Johnson from the D-Backs was heralded by the New York media and fans, as the Big Unit seemed to be the missing piece of a rotation that was in need of frontline help, but no one seemed to be watching the offense. Carlos Beltran though seemed to be totally overlooked by the Tampa brain trust. The slights towards Beltran came out quickly from the media, whether it was the worry that he couldn’t handle the glare of the New York media or that the Boss didn’t think he was the right fit for the team, the Yankees made it apparent that Beltran was not on their radar. Fast Forward to the start of the season and the Yankees seem to be sweating like Lindsay Lohan without her Columbian marching powder. The once reliable NY offense began to crumble as Bernie Williams’s arm turned into salt water taffy, Jason Giambi continued to look for where the real Giambi is, and Jeter and Sheffield continued to get older. Meanwhile the Boss brought in Tony Womack.

Cough.

That’s right Tony Womack, a guy not known for his longevity or hitting prowess. Womack was brought in to take over the 2nd Base Job, but now with Bernie failing, Womack has been shuttled into the Outfield shifting Matsui to Center, all while in the next borough Carlos Beltran patrols Center for the Mets becoming the face of the franchise, and adapting easily to the Metropolitan Fan Base.

And where is the Big Unit? He’s at home washing his tights. Recently placed on the DL for tightness in his groin (never a good place for tightness) the Unit has helped to torpedo the start of the 2005 season for the Yanks. With Baltimore surging, Boston still sitting on its World Series laurels, and the rest of the AL East still close the Yankees aren’t out of the race yet, but one has to wonder if guys like Derek Jeter and the crumbling Mo Rivera have enough to carry this nearly extinct Yankee team on their arthritic backs.

If only the Yankees could field a shuffleboard team

-BL